Aces & Aros Café lgbtqiA ❤️ 1e edition

1e editie
(english below)
ben je aspec, dus op het aromantische en asexuele spectrum of vraag je je af of je dat bent?
heb je geen begrijp of veel moeite of een hekel aan de maatschappelijke ideeén van normativiteit van relaties, of liefde nodig is om een goed leven te hebben, of dat je zonder seks ‘heel veel mist’ of of of (*insert bullshit bingo statements*)?
we nodigen je uit voor een avondje met cake en garlic bread en thee en couches, maar zonder drugs en alcohol 😎
✅️Voel je vrij ook te komen om queer voor jezelf te zijn op de bank te chillen en te lezen of zo.
❌️No pressure for hookups either (looking at you,my aroace friends!)
🔻waar: anarcho boekenplek @opstand.denhaag (beatrijsstraat 12, Den Haag)
🔻waneer: zaterdag, 07.05.2022. inloop vanaf 17.00 **
graag vooraanmelden vanwegen covid via instagram dm of email (boekenwinkelopstand at riseup dot net)
🎪het plek/covid/toegankelijkheid
social anxiety is een ding en veel van ons raken ook snel overprikkeld. Als je wilt komen, een je hebt specifieke benodigdheden, laat het weten! er is iig een ruimte met couches waar je ook kunt zitten. de ingang en de toiletten zijn helaas beperkt toegankelijk voor rolstoelgebruikers (in specifiek zijn het de brandveiligheidsdeuren, die zwaar zijn, en de ingangsdeur welke alleen met een handle naar buiten toe opengaat.)
🌬 Covid: je mag je eigen masker meenemen, anders hebben we ook maskers en zelftests op locatie, maar wees solidair en doe eentje voordat je komt. Er is geen maximum aan mensen, maar afhankelijk van hoeveel er komen gaan we even aanpassen en kijken hoe we het het veiligst kunnen maken!
❕️check in met mensen voor triggerwarnings en persoonlijke grensen, wees geen pannekoek.
Joey gaat je host zijn en die praat engels en nederlands.
**dit evenement is specifiek bedoeld voor mensen die aro
en/of ace zijn of zich afvragen of ze het zouden kunnen zijn
Aces & Aros Café lgbtqiA ❤️ 1st edition
are you aspec (on the aromatic and asexual spectrum) or are you wondering if you are? do you not really understand or have much difficulty or hate towards society’s ideas of normativity of relationships, ask yourself why people believe that love is necessary to have a good life, or why without sex you are presumably gonna ‘miss a lot’ or or or (*insert bullshit bingo statements* )?
we invite you for an evening with cake and garlic bread and tea and couches, but without drugs and alcohol 😎
✅️Feel free to come too to be queer to yourself chilling and reading or whatever.
❌️No pressure for hookups either (looking at you,my aroace friends!)
🔻where: anarcho book spot @opstand.denhaag (beatrijsstraat 12, The Hague)
When: Saturday, 07.05.2022. walk-in from 17.00 **
please pre-register due to covid via instagram dm or email (bookstore stand at riseup dot net)
🎪the place/covid/accessibility
social anxiety is a thing and many of us are easily overstimulated. If you want to come, or you have specific needs, let us know! there is a room with couches where you can also sit. unfortunately the entrance and the toilets have limited access for wheelchair users (specifically it is the fire doors, which are heavy, and the entrance door which only opens outwards with one handle.)
🌬 Covid: you can bring your own mask, otherwise we also have masks and self-tests on location, but show solidarity and do one before you come. There is no maximum number of people, but depending on how many come we will adjust and see how we can make it safest!
❕️check in with people for trigger warnings and personal limits, don’t be a pancake. Joey will be your host and he will speak English and Dutch.
**this event is specifically for people who are aro and/or ace or wondering if they could be

Asexual Awareness Week 25th-31st Oct

Asexual Awarenessweek (Ace  Week)!

An asexuality flag (4 shorizontal stripes, from top to bottom black, grey, white and purple) with white font over it saying: asexual awarenessweek at the anarchistische boekenwinkel opstand, 29th and 30th october 2020 Den Haag


It is the annual Aceweek (25th – 31st  Oct.), thus the Anarchist Bookstore Opstand also will take part in educating and creating awareness  about all ace topics!

Do you want to ask questions about asexuality that you couldn’t get answered? Do you want to have some personal story sharing about ace experiences? Would you like to brainstorm about how to make asexuality more visible and acknowledged? You think you’re ace yourself but just wanna talk about it with an ace person? You know someone who’s close to you and just came out and need some resources?

We invite you to come along from 17-21 on the next Thursday (29th), and from 15-19 on the Friday (30th). M. from the Opstand will be there and ready with some topics to chat/talk/discuss about.
Not necess

ary, but recommended: write us an email or an Instagram direct message and tell us when you’ll be coming. We shouldn’t be more than 4 people in the space ( -if you just wanna talk face to face quietly, also possible).

some more things:
– We won’t tolerate shitty behaviour and discrimination, and want to make it a space to learn.
– bring your own facemask please
–  background of the person doing the event: themselves are non-binary and ace, white, non-academic background, slow reader. They prefer talking English, but german and dutch would also work.
– it’s free and there is no need to consume anything, but it would be nice to have some tea with you!
– accessibility: wheelchair accessible it is, but the entrance is a bit tricky. Knock in the window and we’ll make it possible (accessible toilet is there also) ! Next tramstop is Anna Bijnslaan.


ACE Week 2020 Resources:

  • Interested in / questioning

Most of the communication takes place in online communites, such as the AVEN forum or on socialmedia.
– Tumblr: (accessible without being signed up))
– facebookgroups are very helpful like ArosAndEnbies
– Instagram accounts to follow:
@teachingoutsidethebinary [amazing teacher, nonbinary ace/aceflux]
@_aceingrace_  an channel especially to power and uplift black and POC folxs
dutch: @theacemind

  • General: AZE journal (
  • youtube:
    – QueerAsCat (very cool person with very content content)
    –  asexual and aromantic tiktoks youtube compilation)
  • Ally sided
    – book The Invisible Orientation – An introduction to Asexuality (2014), Julia Sondra Decker
    – ace/aro zine


most interesting articles  from aro/ace writers
literally SO good: here some links:

[aro/ace explanation based on personal story]

[very intense poem about current times, recommended!]
[poem about the notion of platonic love] [grey ace peronal story, very poetic] [some terms clarified + super good example of how to introduce RA and Asexuality to new ‘dates’] [poem to ace people] [poem] [review of a book that sounds goodd but the review is also top notch!]

“But you know what I realised on my walk?” she said. “I realised that I love you, Georgia.”
My mouth dropped open.
“Obviously I’m not romantically in love with you. But I realised that whatever these feelings are for you, I…” She grinned wildly. “I feel like I am in love. Me and you—this is a fucking love story! I feel like I’ve found something most people just don’t get. I feel at home around you in a way I have never felt in my fucking life. And maybe most people would look at us and think that we’re just friends, or whatever, but I know that it’s just… so much more than that.” She gestured dramatically at me with both hands. “You changed me. You… you fucking saved me, I swear to God. I know I still do a lot of dumb stuff and I say the wrong things and I still have days where I just feel like shit but… I’ve felt happier over the past few weeks than I have in years.”



    a bookclub with free lgbtqia+ ebooks, online. The selected book each month will either have an asexual spectrum author, canon asexual character, or an otherwise LGBTQ author who has shown support to the ace community.


definitions: understanding them with cake analogies by xen haas:


If you come across a cake and find it aesthetically attractive it means you think it’s pretty. It was very well put together and it’s nice to look at.

Sexual attraction is seeing the cake and the visual sparking thought about smelling it or eating it. Maybe the thought of licking the frosting off pops into your head, or maybe your eye is just drawn to that frosting and you can envision the taste. You might wonder how soft and moist it is. But, you might not actually want to, you just imagine it. Maybe it initiates hunger and maybe it doesn’t.

(Asexuality, then, is seeing cake all the time but it never even entering one’s mind that it’s potential food.)

Sex drive is how big your appetite is. You may just not be hungry almost ever. If you eat, it’s for some other reason. If you have a large appetite you want to eat, but you may not necessary care what you eat. Eating itself is what is satisfying, not necessarily what was eaten.

Sexual arousal is your physical reaction, sometimes to being hungry, sometimes to actually getting ready to or eating. It’s when the stimulus of the looks or smells or thoughts of the food laid out make your stomach growl or your mouth water. Sometimes this may happen without stimulus or actual hunger, sometimes your stomach just rumbles even if you don’t feel particularly hungry.

Sexual desire is being hungry for cake specifically. You want to eat that cake. Or maybe you just want to eat a cake and go looking for one. Just because you want the cake doesn’t necessarily mean you go after the cake.

Sexual activity is actually eating the cake. This could be because you really wanted the cake, but also because you just wanted to try the cake, or maybe everyone else was having cake and there was social pressure, etc.

Sexual orientation is what flavor(s) you like.